My letter to you Nanna

I'm just Holding a Pen in my hand, thoughts may be mine alone, but the ink is definitely You nanna..

I grieve how our relation could have been, would have been or should have been, had the things been any different.. But just then, I realize the hard reality of Nature & ie the loss is Inevitable, though it feels heavy until one accepts..

Off late, I’ve known the other side of life without you, the loss takes different paths. Sometimes the loss also takes the shape of someone I knew well. We build psychological/ emotional connection even before we realise ourselves.. No wonder you have chosen people to be close, just to make me feel fuller, like you always intended..

Today on your birthday, I don’t want to remember that you left in physical form, But, I wish to Smile through the day remembering it as the day of a 'father daughter endeavour'..

One such memory down the lane was your granddaughter winning a Gold medal at one of the Nationals & when we come back from that tournament, Your happiness is still registered as a fresh one.. And around the same time I wanted to gift you something special, I dared giving you a wine bottle, I was hesitant though to present, gathered my courage which was more of Love than anything else, finally gifting you with shivering hands., & To my surprise you accepted it gracefully, but also asked me to accompany you…

You know naana how I felt that moment, my happiness knew no limit, No daughter(in the family at least) could ever think of gifting wine to her father & here i own the craziest (to people) but amazing (to me) a chance of cheering the glass with you..

I cherished each & every moment in phases spent with you Nanna.. Love you still & Miss you dearly..

Iam penning this thus also to express my thanks to a person who stood by me as a fatherly figure.. Who time & again makes me realise that relations always don't have to be biological but can be emotional.

It's not an overstatement from your grown up girl nanna, but Iam grateful enough for 'talking to me through Life' that after you left a physical form, you are living in spirit in someone else's.. & I'm glad to know that someone is the man I knew so well..

For anyone on to a woman, It's easier to give advices, but the most powerful guidance comes from this person at an incredible time needed,  one who walks the walk—not just talks the talk... RIP nanna, i feel iam safer now, until life offers more..